Eating Out with a Toddler 101 - Listen up Folks!

Tonight Mommy, Grandma and Grandpa decided to take me out to Max and Erma's. Going out with me can be fun if you don't try to get wild and crazy and you prepare properly. Unfortunately, for everyone including innocent pedestrians, tonight Mommy decided to try and get radical and she left her brain back in amateur parent land - a deadly combination.

We arrived at the restaurant around 5:00 and needless to say, I was famished. Mommy was fully aware that I was hungry and what did she do? Did she order Mac n' Cheese so she could relax and chill out from a long week at work? Did she bring the DVD player so I could sit there and watch so she could enjoy a glass of wine? Did she even bring some crackers so I would have something to snack on while we waited for our food? The answer to all of the above would be no, no and no! You would think Mommy just rolled off the new Mommy train yesterday with these slip-ups.

First, we get to the restaurant and she doesn't bring out the crackers and there is no DVD player. Naturally I completely lose it and start screaming and try to nose dive over Mommy in the booth. At this point Grandma and Grandpa are trying to block out the commotion with several bottles of wine. Mommy had to throw her full weight into keeping me in my seat. I was throwing crayons, books and I would have thrown Mommy if she didn't have 90 pounds on me.

Finally, Mommy found the crackers which temporarily calmed me down. Then, to add to the misery, Mommy decided to get healthy on me and ordered me, hold on to your hats, steamed broccoli and grilled chicken! I think Mommy slipped and smacked her head on the pavement earlier because she was clearly not thinking straight with this ridiculous string of bad decisions. So after I refused the healthy stuff, Mommy caved and ordered the Mac n' Cheese with Applesauce. Needless to say, when the real food came along, I was happy as a clam, sat there and ate like a little angel and Mommy was actually able to finish her soup. Grandma and Grandpa looked like they just got paroled they were so happy.

So what's the lesson here? Don't try and be a nutritional hero in the middle of a restaurant when you are working with a hungry 2 1/2 year old! Also, for Pete's sake, bring the DVD player!

This is Tyler Heeman signing off - good night and good luck!